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Italy on holidays
Written by Fabio Marzari   

ragazza_valigia.jpgTravellers can be divided in typical categories and a myriad of subspecies. Homo lowcostianus knows by heart the size of permitted cabin luggage aboard terrible, cheap, no-frills flights and thinks he’s much smarter than the Nazi-like rules the airline adopted: he stuffed all his belongings in every corner of what he’s wearing, should he ever lose his jacket, he’s lost.

 

Homo bovolus, as the titular snail does, tows luggage large enough to include both summer and winter wardrobe, and how surprised does he look when the security staff strains his back in heaving his suitcases, an effort proportional to the surcharge he’s going to have to pay later.

 

Homo hegelianus and his motto “I don’t need anything while on holidays anyway” has a tiny, tiny suitcase, perfectly combined in an ideal synthesis of need and recklessness; he could climb Nepal’s mountains in nothing but sandals, just to show himself and others he can be a light, no-frills traveller.

 

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Homo vanus or vain you can spot by looking, once again, at his suitcases, brand name and matching, soccer player style, he looks like Paris Hilton’s cousin, wears Dolce&Gabbana flip-flops and is probably heading to an all-inclusive deal in Mallorca, a last-last-second offer in a 600-room hotel.

 

Homo ridiculus or ansiosus leaves for the seaside as if he was going to conquer a distant planet; he shows up at the check-in desk hours before it actually opens, his luggage on the cart ordered by size and weight, within all prescribed rules – that goes without saying, usually accompanied by a gum-chewing, resignation-driven wife.

 

These may sound like hyperboles, but that’s what the average airport queue shows, immutable human specimens. Who knows what visions reception workers will have to endure in this 2013 summer? Maybe we should add one category: they once used to enjoy free passages on state flights, especially around Linate airport, scantily clad, very young, all of them in the way to Olbia… what a mystery!